Down in the dumps? Remember the three most important words known to man; no, even more important than 'I Love You'; the words are KEEP THE FAITH. Read below to know more.
As much as we would like to think we are, we aren't, invincible that is. People, situations, world news, words (said and left unsaid), deeds, they all affect us. Just the degree differs. And also how honest we are in accepting the fact that we've been affected differs. So when all the things mentioned above - people, situations, news, words and deeds - affect us negatively, what do we do? Simple, change. Wait, sorry, it's not always that simple. Let's take it case by case.
Can we change the people around us? In some conditions yes we can. Meaning to say we can surround ourselves with different people, who are less negative, or who make us feel good about ourselves. Okay, established. But can we change those people? Change the person that they are? Can you change yourself? I guess it would be difficult right! When you realize how difficult it is to change your own self, the one you know inside out and have complete control over, imagine what little chance you have of changing someone else. So forget about it. It's neither your prerogative, nor in your capacity.
What about situations? Can we change those? To an extent we can, but to a very little extent. Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player; Albert Einstein can't go wrong. Do all you can to change what has happened, but you may soon find there's not much that can be done. Whatever happened, happened because it was destined to. The sooner you accept, the better.
Words and Deeds. Now these can be of two kinds, words said and deeds done or words left unsaid or deeds left undone (quite a mouthful!). Here too, if seen from a fresh perspective, the said/done words/deeds may seem less offensive than they initially did. Not always though. So then, the next logical and fair step is clarification. Depending on who the words/deeds are of, it is wise to clarify it with them rather than beating yourself over it. It happens, more often than not, that you see a completely different meaning or intention behind those words/deeds after having clarified (provided both parties have been truthful of course). It can save lot many friendships from seeing an unnecessary end! So now what about words/deeds unsaid or not done? The first question that needs to be asked here is "is my expectation appropriate?" If you answer yes to that, ask "is there any reason why the other person would deliberately not do or say as I expect him/her to?". Nobody wants to hurt anybody deliberately. But still it happens and it is no doubt very unfortunate. But expecting someone to know your expectations without you ever talking about it is a tad unfair to that person. So, check the legitimacy and clarity of your own expectations; if in place, then check the other person for malice or ignorance. Things might start falling into place. Language has been invented by man in order to communicate, do not waste such an ingenious invention!
I can also elaborate on changing world news; will end up concluding that not much can be done to drastically change that either. Does it mean that when any of these bring us down, there is no way for us to get back up? Is apathy and perpetual depression the answer? Well, for some it may be! But there's a better answer. Two actually. Put simply, the answers are Perception and Prayer. (Wow, the Perfect Punch to a Problem are Perception and Prayer!)
Look at the situation from top. No, the 19th floor isn't what I mean. I mean look at it as a third person. Remove yourself from it, and replace a woman/man (as the case may be) for you, and look at it as something happening to that woman/man. "This man has just been ridiculed by his senior for the error he made in the report", "this woman has had a fight with her good friend because of something she failed to do", "this woman is mad at her husband because he didn't do what she expected" etc. Detach and see the situation as though it is a story you are reading. Isn't it just too easy to know if a character is wrong or right, or what he should/shouldn't have done while reading a story? Why is that? It is because you are not one of the characters, and that gives you the ability to be completely objective and fair. Why treat your own life any different? Go on, be a reader of your story. You will be amazed to see sides that you couldn't earlier. And the perspective you receive by doing so, is nothing short of liberating!
Changing perception to a situation is a good way to deal with things. But it doesn't suddenly make you go from feeling low to feeling on top of the world. At such a time, pray. Merely saying a prayer is different than praying. Pray, with all your heart, with all your hope, with all that you are. Don't be shy. Of all people who know you, He knows you the best and there is nothing hidden from Him. Be honest, be sincere and tell Him how you feel. He listens, evaluates and then gives you what you need. But in all this, the one thing that you should never let go of, is hope.
Praying and changing perception will not lessen the burden per se, but they'll surely help you feel stronger and readier to tackle the burden that you (and only you) have to. And what better time to reach out to friends than the worst of times!
Remember, Keep the Faith. God has a plan for you :)
